Beyond Lemuria
The Shaver Mystery and the Secrets of Mt. Shasta
Reviewed by Figbar Tobar
Shavertron Lithuania Bureau
Beyond Lemuria written by Poke Runyon, Directed by Gregory Jednack, Photographed & Edited by Mitch Lieding.
Seeing as how I am a lowly reviewer living in an eastern bloc former soviet satellite country, it is no wonder I am considered out of loop when it comes to getting freebie review copies of anything. Or is this due to fact I work for out-of-loop Shavertron editor? He tells me Shavertron no longer gets review copies (or does he keep this stuff for himself)? No matter.
This means I must now review some movies not from movie itself, but from trailers, which are free. To me, is very humiliating, but remember: I work for Shavertron and it goes with territory. In any case, this is where I am coming from as I review a film with Richard Shaver's name ACTUALLY IN THE TITLE. It is called "Beyond Lemuria -- The Shaver Mystery and the Secrets of Mt. Shasta."
I don't know how long real movie is, but trailer lasts about 9 minutes. Stupid Editor tells me trailers have all the best scenes in them, so I can get drift from trailer, no problem. This is what I put up with.
Anyway, trailer opens up on beautiful Mt. Shasta. We see this English explorer, said to be a cowboy, finds a secret entrance to the subworld beneath Mt. Shasta. He is awarded gold medal of honor by a Lemurian elder in sorcerer's robe. This is only beginning of our tale.
Evil scientists (some with serious cleavage) want to contact the dero, using technology of a ray mech called the Intragravatron or some crazy name like Shavertron. By saying the secret words, "Ooomgah obidesque" this machine becomes a conduit to even scarier guy who tells them to go to Mt. Shasta where they can do some real damage.
Allegedly mysterious Government Agent, "Colonel Rich" operates a Intragravatron.
Meanwhile, we find there are some good guy Lemurians who wear white robes and lots of bling (bad scientists wear black, and sunglasses). Good guy leader who is Timothy Leary look alike, gathers true believers around him to fight evil dero inspired scientists who are now inside volcanic lava tubes obsessing over the Intragravatron thing.
Here is Tim Leary look alike posing on location in front of Mt. Shasta. He is Phylos, ancient Atlantean who is vacationing in Lemuria (California).
But forget all this background stuff. Real star of movie is sister Lilith who is one hot babe who gets into lots of trouble before movie is over. She wears tight outfits that reveal the Secrets of Mt. Booty. Emily Trempe IS 'Lilith.' But her outfits are like small potatos next to Isabela Shahira's. She is the sexy Lemurian Priestess. Wearing her tiny outfit with priestess gams bursting out of her bikini top, she coaches Lilith in her quest to save Earth from all dero influence.
Eventually Lilith is captured by hot dero-inspired Xena warrior princess type in REALLY hot outfit, who ties her up and subjects her to Shaver's glorious stim mech. Sister Lilith's groans of tormented ecstasy should garner her oscar nomination in "Lemurian stim mech" category. Figbar gives this scene a big thumbs up. Unhappily, this is only the trailer so hot scene is on for just five seconds before it cuts to next scene, which is Richard Shaver look-alike lecturing on evil aliens you don't want to live next door to you. Hm.
Evil scientists in lava tube caves are mesmerized
by cleavage of female evil scientist.
Movie has classic Poke Runyon lines spoken by great Lemurian elder on top of Mt. Shasta who says "In the darkness you may find the light; or beyond the light you may discover darkness. For in truth you cannot have one without the other." This is pretty heady stuff, but it put ice water on Figbar's big thumbs up. In any case this is the genius of Beyond Lemuria! It is epic roller coaster ride of Shaverian proportions with hot babes in one scene, then drifty Tim Leary in next. At least the trailer is. I have no idea what real movie is like.
Figbar Tobar Movie Trailer Index rating: two thumbs up for mentioning Richard Shaver and Shaver Mystery several times in movie; one BIG thumbs up for sister Lilith sex stim scene; two hits of acid for Timothy Leary look alike. Filmed on location at Mt. Shasta, in Pluto's Cave. Beyond Lemuria is "one young man's mystic journey thru higher and lower spiritual dimensions..." You can watch same trailer as Figbar if you go to beyondlemuria.com. This movie can be purchased on Amazon.com too for only $19.95 each. Photos came from website...except one below.
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